Truth

I haven’t been around much.  My brain has been over-full with life.  After a quiet year living in a new community, all of a sudden our calendar is overly full with wonderful activities!  Fourteen year old Patrick joined Civil Air Patrol at the beginning of summer.  Silas joined our family a few weeks later.  Brook Lynne (13) and Allison (11) have begun taking voice lessons and Patrick (14) has begun piano lessons.  David’s job is slowly getting busier and busier.  All of the school age kids are participating in their age-appropriate choirs at church.  And Brook Lynne and Patrick are in youth (a first for them!).  I can’t say enough good things about our new community.  We love our run-down, fixer-upper-that’s-not-getting-fixed-up home (we’re too busy living in it!), our 1 acre yard, our church home, and our new friends.

Five month old Silas DOES NOT SLEEP.  EVER.  He tosses and turns all night, aggravated by a perpetually itchy face.  He has persistant eczema on his cheeks and chin that is itchy and won’t completely heal.  He is obviously a food allergy kiddo.  I shed a few tears over that, but then put on my big girl pants and moved on.  I was hoping that my better diet and awesome pregnancy would help, but alas, the pesky food allergies are still plaguing each new baby that I have.  Now, we are muddling through, trying to identify what his allergies might be.

I have started working with an integrative nutrition lifestyle coach.  And found out that I have a systemic yeast issue.  I’m not surprised.  The lifestyle changes she is suggesting make my head spin.  I decided to argue with God and put off the necessary dietary changes.  Instead, a month later I walked in the nutrition class a friend was teaching at church, rebellious Coke in hand, and left convicted that I need to get my head on.  Or out.  Whatever.

An argument between David and I yesterday escalated to the cray-cray, what-were-we-even-arguing-about-anyway level. It ended with him walking out the door.  Eleven-year-old Allison said, “Mom, is it a little weird that we’re just used to Daddy disappearing?”  Boom.  There it is:  the elephant in the room.  David and I fight too much, too often.  Maritally speaking, David and I have had a tough time since we moved to Floresville.  I have even uttered the D-word a couple of times in an effort to explain to David how much I am struggling.  It has been difficult coming to terms with our mistakes in life and the perpetual financial poverty that it has caused.  But, WE ARE coming to terms with it, and, really, rebuilding our marriage from the ground up.

So, here’s to quitting sugar cold turkey.  Here’s to sharing TRUTH in my blog posts.  Here’s to David and I starting over, forgiving hurts from the past.  Here’s to change.

REAL CHANGE.

and PUTTING ONE FOOT IN FRONT OF THE OTHER, FAKING IT UNTIL YOU FEEL IT, and embracing the fact that GOD’S MERCIES ARE NEW EVERY MORNING.

Because I surely need His mercy and grace.

If you feel led, pray for me.  Pray for all of us.  Life isn’t easy.  But we’re in this together and have a Heavenly Father that adores us, takes care of us, provides for us.  I’m so glad we have Him.  And each other.

~Darlene

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